Dealing with anger

In much of today’s society we are encouraged to express our anger . It is argued that repressing, or keeping our anger in, damages our health. However it is at times of anger that we can say hurtful thing, or  indeed hurt those around us. Paul in Ephesians writes “in your anger do not sin”. Ephesians 4:26. He is recognizing that anger is a natural emotion and response, but he’s also highlighting at that time we are most at risk and damaging our relationship with those around us. Often we feel anger because of pride, our position, or our authority is challenged. Our “toes have been trodden on”, “our noses put out of joint”, and so we react with anger.

When we do feel anger we do need to control, but we do not need to bottle up anger inside us. Long lived anger which we nurse within us with thoughts of revenge leads us to destruction. It can eat away  and cause us to become bitter, vindictive and spiteful. In Jesus we have someone with whom we can share our hurts and our frustrations, and when we ask he will help us to release the anger we may feel, he will help us forgive those that have hurt us. He changes us to overcome the issue if we are willing.

Frequently in relationships we may pray that “so and so” stops upsetting us or starts treating us with respect. We ask God to do what we want, thankfully he responds by giving us what is best instead, and this often means by changing us so that we no longer take offence. In Luke 11. 11-13 Jesus says “What father among you when his son asked for bread would give him a stone, or if he asks for fish give him a snake. If you them know how to give what is good to your children, how much more with the Father in heaven give good things to those that ask “. We do need to trust that he knows best and to ask for his resolution without trying to dictate what he should do – unless of course we feel that this is his specific will in this instance.

I find whilst writing this passage today that God is speaking to me about anger with my children. When I was young I had a terrible temper and for many years struggled to control it. For a while I felt that this had been overcome, but now I find that children completely ignoring requests brings back the anger I have struggled with so much in the past. In my anger I can say things that hurt them, belittle them and I recognize that I need Gods’ help to change. We need to be honest before God and ask his help in trying to follow Christ, he is with us and will help.

Finally when anger does strike, I urge you – as I myself must recognize - seek out reconciliation. Don’t wait or others to make the first move, we need to mend our relationships and God places high importance on this for us. So go say sorry, be humbled but most importantly be reconciled.

If you have an example to share that may help and encourage others, please do respond with a comment.